Muppet Takeover at Disney-MGM Studios and Disneyland
Ah, the Muppets at Disney—a love story that started with a rainbow connection and ended up tangled in the red tape of corporate bureaucracy. Let’s dive deeper into this tale of missed opportunities, half-baked promises, and the eternal question: "Why didn’t we get a Muppet-themed water slide shaped like Animal’s drum set?"
Picture it: January 1990. Michael Eisner, Disney’s CEO and sweater enthusiast, takes the stage to announce what can only be described as the Muppet Renaissance. The crowd is buzzing, Kermit is nervously adjusting his collar, and Miss Piggy is already planning her diva demands for the contract negotiations. Eisner unveils a grand vision: a 3D film, a stage show, a parade, and a mysterious Disneyland attraction. The Muppets are coming to Disney parks, and the world is ready. Cue the confetti cannons and a chorus of Mahna Mahna.
Fast forward a few years, and some of these promises actually materialized! MuppetVision 3D opened at Disney-MGM Studios, and it was glorious. Who could forget the chaos of Bean Bunny, the Swedish Chef’s ill-fated attempts at cooking, and that iconic moment when Statler and Waldorf heckle the audience from their balcony? It was peak Muppet mayhem, and we loved every second of it. The stage show, Here Come the Muppets, also made its debut, giving us live-action Fozzie jokes and Gonzo’s death-defying stunts. But then… the momentum stalled. The Muppet parade? Never happened. The Disneyland attraction? Radio silence. It’s like Eisner got halfway through his Muppet master plan and then got distracted by a spreadsheet about park attendance numbers.
Now, let’s talk about the real heartbreak of this story: Muppet Studios. Oh, what could have been! Imagine an entire land at Disney-MGM Studios dedicated to the Muppets. Kermit would greet guests with his trademark charm, Fozzie would tell jokes so bad they’d loop back to being hilarious, and Statler and Waldorf would heckle everyone from a balcony, because why should the audience have all the fun? Jim Henson himself teased a ride that would parody the rest of the park, promising “the most stupid way possible” to make movies. And let’s be honest, if anyone could make stupidity into art, it was the Muppets.
Picture this ride: Gonzo, dressed as a deranged director, launches himself out of a cannon to film a stunt. Animal is in the sound booth, drumming so hard the walls shake. Miss Piggy is demanding a close-up while Kermit tries to keep everything from falling apart. It would’ve been the most meta, chaotic, and utterly brilliant attraction in Disney history. But alas, it was not to be. In May 1990, Jim Henson passed away, and with him, the dream of Muppet Studios seemed to fade into the ether. The project was quietly shelved, leaving us with nothing but a few tantalizing mentions in the Disney Channel Magazine and a whole lot of “what-ifs.”
So, what did we get instead? A MuppetVision 3D clone at Disney’s California Adventure in 2001, which was nice but felt like a consolation prize. And while we’ve had the occasional Muppet cameo in the parks (looking at you, Great Moments in History with Mr. Lincoln), it’s never been the full-blown Muppet takeover we were promised. It’s like Disney built the Muppets a mansion but forgot to give them the keys—or the furniture.
But hey, let’s not lose hope. The Muppets are nothing if not resilient. They’ve survived canceled shows, questionable reboots, and even that time Miss Piggy tried to karate-chop everyone in Muppets Most Wanted. Maybe someday, Disney will dust off those old blueprints and give us the Muppet land we deserve. Until then, we’ll just have to settle for rewatching MuppetVision 3D and dreaming of a world where Kermit and Mickey co-host the park’s fireworks show. Cue the banjo music.
This one was definitely the hardest to think about because of what we could have received. RIP Jim Henson. Next time, we'll be looking one of Disney's greatest marketing strategies! That's right! We're looking at Walt Disney Home Video and the Infamous Disney Vault!
